I decided to blog cause i really got nothing to do now in office lah. Today office is so quiet. Both my bosses is not around. Two shareholders also not around. Just got nothing to do from don't know what time lor.

Bored bored bored! Life's so bored la. Actually thought would be able to meet bg today but no lor. :( Sian. Sigh. :( :( :(

Anyway, last night after work headed home to change & prepare. Then Alicia & Joslyn came to fetch me and headed to Shin Bar as Alicia's working. I want to fucking get Blackberry soon! It's so nice lor. So cool to plurk outside! Hehehehe!! I'm gonna get it once i get my pay man! Woohoo ~

Ok, really got nothing to blog about. Wtf. Bye all!

I just had my wonderful dinner, curry fish head! *yummmmyyyy* Hehehehe. I went to the market to buy my topup card and bought rojak, came back then realise my mom packet curry fish head from zichar. I've already finished eating for about 1 hour but i'm still fucking full!

My weekends are spent at home! Sucha good girllllll ~ Yeahhhh. From now on, i gonna save! I belive i can do it! Online shopping really kills man! Once i get my pay, i wanna go for eyelash perming, MUSTMUSTMUST! And i wanna go for waxing too ~ And just now my mom said tt she'll still give me money for cny clothes! Yay! So my pay i can save more and i can have another excuse to shop! HAHAHA! Altho bg don't like me to spend money like tt. :( I'll cut down i promise! LOL.

And for my whole Saturday, i was watching 下一站幸福. Nice man. I feel like getting the cd but then it's not yet selling outside? Is it is it? If it is i'm gonna rush to buy! Nice nice nice! Touching man. Keep tearing lor. LOL.

So fast and the time is 7.24pm now. I gonna go have a bath later on and put on maskkkkk! I can't wait to get bb man! It's gonna be the first time i'm using my own hard earned money to get a new hp! Damn 'she bu de' lah! =( I already count that the total i have to pay plus signing on a new line is around $400! Ohmygod! And i checked with my mother that my dad is only gonna be back at the end of March! AHHHHH! *screams* This is the first time out of SO LONG i ask my dad for money! Last time i used to ask from him $200 every 1week+. And now i didn't ask from him for so long already! Ok, is it long? Actually not very. WAHAHA! But to me i feel quite long lor. Somemore gonna use my OWN MONEY BUY HP! This one i really can't belive it. I really cannot bear lah! $400 leh siao siao! I hope my mother will sponsor me half lor please. Even $200 i also abit don't bear lor. Cause my money comfirm not enough for my own use already lor. :( But i really really want that hp lah!

I wanna work pub also la! Buay tahannnnnnnn! Money forever not enough spend. No matter what, i'm gonna get my Blackberry! BLACKBERRY, WAIT FOR ME! MUMMY'S GONNA GET YOU BACKKKKKKKKKKKKK! I wanna go for 1 round of dota already and waiting for bg's call. Heeeeee. BYE ALL! MUACKKKKKKS!

It's been so long since i updated my blogggg! Wahaha. Ok, not very long actually. But to me i feel that it is lor! Everyday is such a long and tiring day. After a long day at work still gotta squeeze with so many people in bus. Hoping there are seats everyday. Morning squeeze, after work squeeze. Power lor.

Monday.
I also forgotten already. I think i was late but i still slowly take bus. Lol. After work Sandy, Weiqiang & Co. came to fetch me! Woohoo! That day i was super high lah. Lol. Headed to Westmall to meet the rest and we went to Sakura for buffet. Yummy lor i had sushiiiiissss! Woohoo. I only know that day i damn super fucking high! HAHAHA! Too long never come out already, bo bian.

After eating, do things etc and headed to 12th Element. High + drink = GG.com LOL! After 12th Element went to Oasis. And i banged until my leg, now got a fucking big orh cheh lor! :( Damn itttt! Even tho i was quite drunk i remember i can feel the pain man! :( Saw Ah Ju over there also. What time and how i went home i also forgotten already. Next day work somemore.

Tuesday.
I woke up only at 10plus, i see the clock and i immidiatly tell myself GG. Faster bathe and went to wait for a cab. And i got a verbal warning from one of my boss. :( Whole day at work damn xinku man. Hangover! Worse still at office!

Wednesday.
Late again. Zzz. Work still the same.

Thursday.
LATE AGAIN AND I KENA A FORMAL WARNING LETTER! Ohmygod! So fast kena warning letter le lor. :( And if next time i'm later than 9.15am, gotta deduct half day's pay! Sibeh sad lah!! But something at midnight made me happier! Heeeeeeeee!!

Friday.
On called a cab to work. Money money just fly! $.$ I need cash lah! When will it be raining moneyyyyyyy?! I sure take my whole house umbrella go catch. LOL. Work was still same lah. Nothing much to say. One of my boss came back from overseas today. 2nd week of Febuary gonna have a outing as two interns are leaving. Sianzation. Till now i still got no topics with my colleague man. We are from different world. :( Nobody can act siao with me there. So boring at work everyday. Bored at lunch too. Hope there are friends working together with me! :( Sigh!!

Last time every Friday and Saturday nights i must go out one. Now leh? Sian!

Time change, people really change lah!! Fucked up lor. Last time i tune little bit, cmf they'll give in and let me one lor. =( Now i tune and tune, also no use le lah! Cb sia. I know i should not complain again and again but really lor! But aiya, forget it man. Gotta blame myself too. Sian la sian la!

Starting work again tomorrow man. Now they've made a excel spreadsheet and named it "Bernice Reporting" I gotta update it everyday what i did, and how long i took to complete it. Wtf right. Jitao is spot check me lor. :( I don't like man seriously! =( Sigh. Work become meangingless liao lah like that give people spot check. But also bo bian. Sigh sigh sigh! =((((

I got many things to do when my pay comes. But but but, i wanna cut down on online shopping! It kills man, seriously! I spend my money on online shopping like I earn big bucks! LOL. And and, I wanna go do a facial lah!! =( I want the person to help me extract my black heads man! Shiok lor. Haha! And i wanna buy eyelash serum, perm my lashes, get new heels and slippers(MUST MUST MUST!!), get a new hp(BB), AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST. I GOTTA SLIM DOWN. My thighs are like elephant thighs lor. So big and fat and i hate it lah. Sigh. Oh yesss, i wanna dye my hair too. But thinking if i should go do soft reborning also. Later do already hair very flat. Still thinking about it man. So many things i gotta do ~ And the cash is so little!! =(

And i really wanna suggest to give my dog away? Even to do SPCA i think my dog will be better at there. He's really so pathetic at home man. Locked up in the cage and sometimes i cook maggi mee i can hear him crying. But then really no choice as i'm afraid of the dog! He's really damn kelian lahhhh! Anyone want a jack russelllll??! I guess nobody wants my dog too. LOL. He's like a mad dog lah. Afew days ago my new maid accidentally let him out and i practically climb up the dining table man! HAHAH! He's really scary lor. Too hyper liao lah, bth!

Ok, i decide to ownself go market already. Dont need ppl acc me on phone! BYE!

Sigh. What g said was right. I should just accept the fact. If there's still feelings, he will only hong but not like another girl. I hope i can stop thinking about him. I hope i can forget about us. I hope i can just accept the fact. The truth really hurts.. :(


So many things, i also don't know how to start and say. I just feel damn shagg now. Don't know what to do, dont know what i'm doing is right/wrong. Don't know what should i do next? Don't know if i should continue.. Don't know if my decision is wrong.. Can't bear to let go. Really don't wanna.. Sigh. Sian.. After losing a thing then you'll know that it's important to you.. Same for everything. I'm always like that. I always don't appreciate the things people does for me and only start to REALISE it after that. I know it myself but i still won't change.. Fucking detest my attitude man. I really really really dont know why everything's in sucha mess now.. I really dont like things like that.. I really fucking hate dropping my tears so easily just for him.. I really dont know anymore.. The truth really hurts, and i fucking dont wanna accept it.. I'm just a spoilt kid with a spoilt temper. I just want everything to go my way.. I don't like my attitude, i don't like my temper.. :( Fuck it.. I'm the one who caused him to change.. I'm the one who did things so ugly in the past, till he gets dishearten and really forget about me, then i came to regret and start to cherish.. Then i came to realise that he is important.. But its really too late.. You know the feeling, that when you really really really realise that you love him and then all he can tell you is sorry? And when you really cry and beg, send him fucking long pages of smses, but what you get back is just a sorry, lets just be friends.. When you realised that now, every other thing is more important than you to him? I never thought that one day i was going to regret. Never thought that one day i'd regret what i did in the past.. But now i really did.. In the past, everyone persuaded me. Everyone said that i'm sure gonna regret next time, but i just didn't heed their advice. For a moment of play, a moment of other guys sweet talks, and i've let down the guy who loved me the most.. You know how much that i wished, that he'll say those words that he used to in the past.. how much i hope i'll see him treating me like how he did in the past.. How much i hope he'd tell me he'll give me a very last chance to change. But nothing's gonna happen like this anymore.. Through all his words, how he talk to me and etc, i can already sense that he no longer loves me anymore.. Deep in my heart i already knew it, but i just couldn't accept it.. I just keep lying to myself that he still does deep in his heart but i know the fact is that he doesn't.. Everytime i think about him, my tears just runs like water tap.. Our memories are really very memorable to me.. But to him, he never wanna think back of the past.. I really really dont wanna put down this relationship.... :( I really dont know what i can do anymore.. Can anyone teach me?