Sigh. What g said was right. I should just accept the fact. If there's still feelings, he will only hong but not like another girl. I hope i can stop thinking about him. I hope i can forget about us. I hope i can just accept the fact. The truth really hurts.. :(


So many things, i also don't know how to start and say. I just feel damn shagg now. Don't know what to do, dont know what i'm doing is right/wrong. Don't know what should i do next? Don't know if i should continue.. Don't know if my decision is wrong.. Can't bear to let go. Really don't wanna.. Sigh. Sian.. After losing a thing then you'll know that it's important to you.. Same for everything. I'm always like that. I always don't appreciate the things people does for me and only start to REALISE it after that. I know it myself but i still won't change.. Fucking detest my attitude man. I really really really dont know why everything's in sucha mess now.. I really dont like things like that.. I really fucking hate dropping my tears so easily just for him.. I really dont know anymore.. The truth really hurts, and i fucking dont wanna accept it.. I'm just a spoilt kid with a spoilt temper. I just want everything to go my way.. I don't like my attitude, i don't like my temper.. :( Fuck it.. I'm the one who caused him to change.. I'm the one who did things so ugly in the past, till he gets dishearten and really forget about me, then i came to regret and start to cherish.. Then i came to realise that he is important.. But its really too late.. You know the feeling, that when you really really really realise that you love him and then all he can tell you is sorry? And when you really cry and beg, send him fucking long pages of smses, but what you get back is just a sorry, lets just be friends.. When you realised that now, every other thing is more important than you to him? I never thought that one day i was going to regret. Never thought that one day i'd regret what i did in the past.. But now i really did.. In the past, everyone persuaded me. Everyone said that i'm sure gonna regret next time, but i just didn't heed their advice. For a moment of play, a moment of other guys sweet talks, and i've let down the guy who loved me the most.. You know how much that i wished, that he'll say those words that he used to in the past.. how much i hope i'll see him treating me like how he did in the past.. How much i hope he'd tell me he'll give me a very last chance to change. But nothing's gonna happen like this anymore.. Through all his words, how he talk to me and etc, i can already sense that he no longer loves me anymore.. Deep in my heart i already knew it, but i just couldn't accept it.. I just keep lying to myself that he still does deep in his heart but i know the fact is that he doesn't.. Everytime i think about him, my tears just runs like water tap.. Our memories are really very memorable to me.. But to him, he never wanna think back of the past.. I really really dont wanna put down this relationship.... :( I really dont know what i can do anymore.. Can anyone teach me?